Angels
by Alahnore
Summary: It takes a hypocrite to know one. It also takes a hypocrite to kill one. It was a truth Flynn was blind to until now. \\ Alternate scenario; character death mentioned. One-sided Flynn/Sodia.


He remembers when the people said they 'saw it coming.' They had congratulated him, cheered for him and told her that she was lucky. He remembers how she turned red in the face, turned away and tried to hide behind her hair. He thought she was being shy, which was odd for Sodia, but maybe this was just that new to her.

He remembers appreciating their words, even if he and Sodia both knew it wasn't exactly as official as they made it out to be.

No, Flynn had been arranged. Or, more to the truth, he had chosen to be arranged with Sodia. It had seemed his swift rise in the ranks had caused many nobles and knights to take notice, and many of the females had become, as Master Ioder said, 'unruly' in their desire for him. And nobility had the money to do what they want for the most part, so for 'his own protection' Master Ioder had said for Flynn to at least pretend to date someone.

Flynn had no idea who, until Sodia approached him. He knew of her feelings, he wasn't stupid, but she insisted. And after Yuri's death at Zaude, Flynn wasn't exactly thinking straight. He had so many new responsibilities as Commandant, and so much to talk to with Yuri. Now those things were left rotting in his heart, weighing on his shoulders and festering in his mind.

Eventually, he just agreed. It was easier than trying to fight it and Sodia was easier to deal with than nobles. And so, after some handful of days 'playing coy' they 'admitted' it to the public.

Flynn really didn't care; he had work to do. A promise to keep. His mind was on that track and this stupid game could come later. Sodia apparently waited for so long, she can wait a while longer.

Aurnion is built and Flynn ends up stuck there trying to lead the people. It becomes his base of operations, and as she was part of his team, Sodia is there. Sodia lives in his cabin with him, shares his space, but Flynn tries to remain polite and normal since this was just a preface to keep the nobles and their stupid, selfish wants at bay while he was working.

Tarqaran falls and the world is saved. The world Yuri died for is saved and the people he died for go on to work for themselves, think for themselves, as the blastia no longer functions. Work increases to keep these towns safe, and even with the guilds, Flynn and his knights are constantly on the go. It would take time for the monsters to calm as the aer returns to basic levels, the mages had said. Flynn really didn't care about the technical part—people needed protection and he had to provide it. He promised.

They never really drop the lie. But Flynn is gradually finding this is okay, because Sodia helps and he appreciates all the help he can get.

In a moment by himself, the rare moment where he could think straight, Flynn wonders if he actually could love her.

He thinks, maybe if he gives her the chance he could. Maybe he'd be happier. Ever since Yuri was gone, Flynn could admit he had tried to block out everything else. He tries to have a life but it was hard when for the majority of it he had Yuri. Losing his best friend left him stranded in heart and mind, but maybe…

So he gives her the chance. They actually date. Flynn sometimes holds her hand in public and once in a blue moon they can be found having a date. He had never seen Sodia so radiate when she dresses nice and walks beside him instead of marching behind. She smiles to him, looking so pretty as she does.

But every so often, he finds she can't look him in the eye, and Flynn begins to believe she really is just that shy.

He didn't really love her yet, but few years down the line Flynn ends up proposing. Of course she says yes, because while he doesn't love her yet, Flynn knows she's smitten. It was almost sad he could predict her answer. He knew she'd smile so brilliantly.

Yet even if it were his idea, Flynn was not at all excited about his own wedding. He thought he would be. He thought his heart had warmed up to her enough he could find contentment outside those illusionary moments he had on their dates and outings. But it remains closed, iced over ever since that hellish day at Zaude. In a sense he almost felt like he was betraying Yuri—here he was, alive and possibly on his way to happiness… and Yuri never got to experience that.

It doesn't take long for Flynn to feel bitter about his own wedding, moreso at himself for even thinking about it. But Sodia was like an angel, and she understands when he starts to push the date back, giving him a smile as she nods. He was Commandant after all… he had a lot of work to do. Work he can't just shove off to others, it wasn't his style.

Eventually, though, he begins to realize this bitterness was more than just irrational grief. All these years and Sodia still can't look him in the eye for long periods of time. She won't even try when he goes to kiss her, a motion long since forced to become an instinct so he'll actually do it. Her cheeks would constantly stain red, and sometimes she'd curl away from him as they lay together at night. Flynn never touches her then, of course… or ever really. He figured she was the traditional wait-for-wedding type.

But shyness like this surely couldn't last this long when together with a person almost constantly. Flynn tries to investigate, but Sodia dodges. He finds himself beginning to worry, that there was some secret he was blind to, and if she won't tell him Flynn has to debate to dig for it himself or let it go.

He was starting to think she was tired of waiting, and had taken a new lover. If that was the case, surely she'd tell him. It was a little heartless to say, but Flynn was still at the point he didn't care enough to be _that_ hurt by it. So a little research and digging later, he looks for the signs. Yet Sodia displays very few signs of an unfaithful partner, and Flynn's search begins anew.

The more he digs the more things confuse him. The more he thinks of it, the more apprehensive he gets. Sodia had always been upfront to him before, could look at him straight on and was not afraid her true feelings were bare in her eyes. The Sodia he knew, the one he respected as his second, would not keep secrets from him like this. Sodia just wasn't the type to keep secrets, but here she was, holding one… one he was beginning to think she didn't like having.

So why would she hide it from him? Flynn may not love her, but she was by this point endeared to him. He wants to help, but Sodia closes off in ways she had never done before.

Flynn digs. Those blushes she had, he wonders if it were embarrassment or shame. Those times she looks away, he wonders if it were shyness or self-pity. He feels driven to find the truth, because even if he couldn't think straight since Yuri died Flynn had enough sense not to marry her with this between them.

All the blushing, the inability to look him in the eye anymore, even the softer speaking and less aggressive tendencies only began shortly after Zaude. Shortly after Yuri died. Did Sodia know she was not loved yet, and her despair was showing?

No. This had been going on the entire time. Flynn has been actively trying, and he figures she'd be happy for that. So what happened then?

He keeps trying to find out. But there are only so many people he can talk to, so many records and his own memories to go through. There just was not enough information. _What is she hiding?_ It was driving him mad; how can he marry her, love her, if he couldn't be trusted by her to share this burden?

Flynn finally has to ask.

And he has to ask a lot. Constantly. Even if Sodia tries to dodge, looks away, looks ashamed. He tries to explain why he has to know, she tries to explain it was nothing. Then she tries to say its best he didn't know. Back and forth, push and pull.

Until finally Sodia's dam on her guilt breaks and she confesses it all.

_She killed Yuri._

As soon as the words enter his mind, his heart… as soon as he realizes it was true, Flynn hears something inside of him shatter.

_I see the angels, I'll lead them to your door;  
There's no escape now, no mercy no more.  
No remorse cause I still remember…_

* * *

**Note:** Bottom lyrics are from Within Temptation's "Angels", of which this fic was inspired from.


End file.
